Oops.

I accidentally stood Anthony up tonight and now I feel like a total asshole (because I was a total asshole). The past couple weeks at work have been really, really stressful. This is my first job as an attending and I started three months ago, and it's been difficult for me not to have good friends at work that I can decompress with/talk smack about people with. In residency, I had several very good friends, especially Anna, whose office I walked into on a number of occasions and just started crying. And then she'd talk me down, and I'd be good to go for the rest of the day. And I haven't had friends that I've felt I could be myself around, and with all the shit that's been going down at work, that's really been getting to me.

So tonight after work, several people planned on going out for drinks & I don't like to miss out on a socializing opportunity, so I was all for it. Anthony knew I was going, and last night on the phone I told him that I really want to hang out with him tonight & go out for dinner & de-stress from this stressful week. I was at work until 6:00 (my shift ends at 4:30) catching up on paperwork, then headed over to this classy wine bar, and ended up having a really good time, and hanging out with some very cool & very funny people. We talked smack about everyone who deserves to have smack talked about them, and I snorted with laughter, and someone laughed so hard he cried. It was a damn good time. For the record, I had two glasses of wine, so this wasn't a shit-faced drunk fest, more just a chance to unwind from a very stressful, very crazy work environment. When I checked my phone to see what time it was, it was 9:00. Oops. Anthony had texted me at 6:30 to see what was up, so I called him & he didn't answer. I left an apologetic message, then called him again when I got home about 45 minutes later and left another apologetic message.

The exact same thing happened about six months ago, except he was the stander up and I was the one who was waiting by my phone until 9 pm, getting more and more irate as each minute ticked by. And when he said he was out with friends from work and unwinding and he just lost track of time, I was all, "How could you lose three hours??? I understand if you wanted to be with them, but you could have at least fucking called!" Totally indignant and 100% pissed. But NOW I understand how such a thing could happen. Oops.

It's after 11:00 now, so I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see how pissed he is at me. No more than 80% I would think, since he's not quite so prone to ire as I am (not that I'm all that prone to ire, I swear). But still, I feel like an ass. I don't recall him having done it, but if he'd brought me flowers the next day, all would have been forgiven. What can you give a guy to get back in his good graces? Besides a blowjob, that is.